let the bodies hit the floor*

yesterday i was virtually useless. i'm pretty sure i was still mildly stoned, and possesed the energy of a bumble bee that clearly already stung some poor sap and is about to die, so i'm not quite sure what motivated me to get off the couch at 7:15pm in hopes of making it to The Echo with Danielle by eight o'clock. but something did - clearly.

for a good part of our drive, i force Danielle to listen to Movin' 93.9 - it was awesome. i think she loved it. correction. i know she loved it.

after a patch of weird traffic, we arrive at The Echo. or at least we arrive in the vicinity of where The Echo should be. you see, neither of us had ever been there before so we're basically driving up and down Glendale Boulevard looking for any sign of a show - boys in tight jeans, underage kids coughing as they don't inhale their first drag of a Marlboro Light, anything. i tell Danielle to turn down an alley that i hoped would mysteriously lead us in the right direction, but it actually turns out to be an odd, long driveway to a Christian Education Center. we turn the corner into the actual parking lot where we find a small Asian boy with a gun. no, it was not a real gun (at least i told myself it wasn't real), and no, in no way did i make any sort of connection between this little boy and the Virginia Tech shooting. but yes, i was honestly scared. i got hot in the face, the whole nine yards. how would you feel if you saw a kid holding a fake gun in a dimly lit parking lot in Echo Park? that's what i thought...

we manage to escape the clutches of the armed child and realize that we need to enter on Sunset - NOT Glendale (thanks, Patrick) - but the line is already huge. i'm talking over the bridge, around the corner, that's what she said HUGE. so we did the only logical thing that we could do - we cut. and not just a few people. we managed to become like the 15th and 16th people in line. Danielle was flawless. i on the other hand was visibly nervous, but looking back, i'm once again going to blame the child with a gun and maybe some pot-induced paranoia. but seriously, all it took was a little talk about an ice cream truck, how we used to like the Pink Panther things with the gumball eyes, lo and behold some dude is actually eating a Pink Panther thing with the gumball eyes. i don't know how it all worked out so perfectly, but it did. except for the whole waiting thing. that wasn't very perfect, because we stood outside for a good two hours. but let's not talk about that anymore.

once inside, we proceed straight to the bar. Danielle orders us doubles, and we start the night off right: sipping a glass of vodka. The Deadly Syndrome are already playing, we start dancing, and i begin to forget that i could have been shot (with water, a nerf missile - WHATEVER).

but also at this point, i decide the pain in my feet is no longer worth the extra two inches of height which my shoes are conveniently providing, so i take them off. i know what just went through your head: i'm standing in a crowded bar/club/show with weird creepy people and am now barefoot. disgusting. trust me, i wrestled with the idea in my head for a good twenty minutes before throwing in the towel. had i not stood in a line for two hours outside waiting to get in i'm confident i could have withstood the entire evening in those heels. but i did stand in line for two hours, and i was well into my second drink so i felt ok with the idea of being sans shoes.

that is, until i stepped on broken glass. once Klaxons came out, the already creepy crowd grew progressively creepier by starting a faux-mosh pit. the three hundred pound man to my left started throwing his weight around, and the possibly-gay-possibly-straight thruster to my right kept on thrusting. Danielle and i are wide eyed and giggly, spilling our drinks on anyone within a five foot radius when all of a sudden i feel a sharp pain in my right foot. i'm debating if this is an aftershock of my pre-existing foot woes, or if this is brand new. oh, it's brand new. i quickly realize this when i look down and see glass shards on the floor. in the midst of all the moshing-but-not-moshing, some one apparently got excited and threw their beer bottle on the ground. so i tell Danielle "i think i stepped on broken glass" which led to the best line of the night: "are you sure it's not ice?"

wow, this is really taking a lot out of me. a lot more happened than i originally remembered, and sitting here detailing the events to you has opened the flood gates in my head. i wasn't prepared for this. i've probably slept a combined total of 7 hours (if that) the past two nights. this is too much. i quit.

* the title of this post may not seem relevant, so allow me to explain. last night when i was stuck in the middle of the sea of pseudo moshing, that Drowning Pool song "Bodies" popped into my head and has been there ever since. don't ask. i never do.