worst day of the year

i was lying in bed contemplating whether or not i'd get out of bed to blog about the fact that my internal alarm clock is really starting to piss me off. i open my eyes every morning between 6:30am and 6:45am without aid from an electronic device. most of you are probably wondering why i find this to be a problem seeing that i never hear the daunting tones of an alarm clock... well i'll tell you why. I DON'T NEED TO WAKE UP UNTIL 8:00AM. my new job allows me the flexibility of waltzing through the office door no later than 10:00am, so i don't leave the house until 9:22am. waking up before 7:00am is no longer necessary. when will my body understand?!! hopefully next week... maybe never.

but i digress.

this morning i woke up and looked at my wall clock that read 6:42am. i'm impeccable - even on a Sunday. i stretched, rinsed my face off, and put the coffee on all before i caught sight of a digital clock which housed the real time of (now) 8:03am. daylight savings is the worst. just the feeling of losing an hour kills me. i hate losing at Boggle, how do you think i feel about losing precious time? ugh, i won't get started for your sake.

the dollar sale awaits me... at least something in my life remains constant.

guess who's back, back, back?

Saturday night marked the end of my alcohol/substance strike as i daringly broke my way back onto the scene with (drumroll please) a beer and a cigarette. yes, after supporting my own period of prohibition i broke the streak with a beer and a cigarette and i don't even smoke. but when push comes to shove it feels nice not to have the social stigma of being "that girl" when every one else is ordering drinks from the cocktail waitress. and now when i receive my half dozen or so text messages that say "can you be our DD tonight?" every Friday i can casually reply, "sorry. gone drinkin'."

you, me and Old Greg makes three.

last night Dani introduced me the fascination known as "Old Greg", and while i resisted him at first, i now can't stop watching this fucking video. so here. i'm going to make you watch it, too.



and be warned, last night after my first viewing i went as far as having dreams about Old Greg. for some reason me, Dani, Katy Q. and Old Greg were in this parlor style dressing room and i had the most kick ass dress you've ever seen in your life on, but Old Greg was not a fan. he said he hated the dress and made me cry. i need help. or maybe i just need to watch Old Greg a few more times. do you love me? do you think you could ever love me?

in another news, someone took a shit in the parking lot at my work today. no joke. one of the girls in the Call Center comes up to my desk and says, "Ummm... there's poop in the parking lot" to which i replied, "exCUSE me?" sure enough, i went outside and there was a legitimate dookie in between two cars. fucking sick. i need a new job.

blame it on my lying, cheating heart

i feel dirty and ashamed - but not as ashamed as i should be. i just purchased a Rick DiPietro shirt from nhl.com. ask me how i feel when i wear it under my Kings jersey when they face off against the Islanders on Thursday... yikes.

those who know me best are aware i have the inane ability to fall in and out of love in a matter of minutes, so don't be shocked when i tell you i'm selling a DiPietro shirt on eBay that is in "Worn-Like New" condition, but for the time being the boy is hot. yes, he is the only goalie to be drafted first overall and yes, i know he's worth $67.5MM thanks to the 15 year contract he inked in 2006 and i'd only be lying to myself if i said i wasn't impressed. the deal sealer, how ever, was learning that DP is a bit of a smart ass. he was mic'd up during yesterday's All Star game and not only can he stop a puck, but he can crack a joke just as easily.

so until the flame dies, if anyone has any sort of connections hook a girl up. after all, all's fair in love and war until he says "i do", right?

sick and phone-less

i spent the entire weekend laying in bed, feeling as if death was knocking on my front door. if that weren't enough in itself, i foolishly left my cell phone on my desk at work under a pile of papers and found myself cut off from the world. sounds awful, right? truth be told, i enjoyed it.

i got more sleep in the last three nights than i have in the last three weeks put together. normally paranoid and anxious without my phone, i felt free and not obligated. so if i neglected to answer your call/text and have not yet informed you that i was sans cell, i was sans cell.

i can always count on you for a laugh

let's not lie, this past week has been rough to say the least. i've been fighting some sort of sickness (a.k.a. the devil) and it has yet to give up it's awful plot to overtake my insides. my dad's car got broken into while he was out of town. work is no fun. it's raining, cold, and depressing outside. and to top things off i'm refraining from substance abuse so i can't even turn to a bottle for comfort. (though last night Dave and i rationalized that smoking weed is ok.) (whoa, double parenthesis action - i just re-read the statement about turning to a bottle and it just sounds worse than intended. there is no need for an intervention. i am ok.)

luckily, when all is said and done at the end of the day i still have my ridiculous sense of humor and a slew of things that can make me smile just by thinking of them. among the things that can tickle my fancy:

pictures
they say a picture is worth a thousand words - i say a picture is worth a thousand laughs. i love looking at pictures. old pictures, new pictures, digital photos, hard copy prints - i don't care. putting myself back in that exact moment in time helps me remember all i have to be grateful for. my friends, my family, the places i've been, the parties i've had... plus you almost forget about the present even if it's only for a second. i've been print happy lately and have been ordering from QOOP left and right. next stop, Aaron Brothers for their 1 cent frame sale. i'm getting giddy already.

American Gladiators
who doesn't love grown adults that go by obscure names and wear ridiculous costumes battling it out against other grown adults whose main goal is to crash through a giant wall of giant foam blocks? because i do. possibly even better than the show itself is coming up with new Gladiator names and/or events. last night i came up with some of my best ones yet, spitting out names such as "Injection" and "Cracy" (pronounced kray-see, and clearly a Mexican gladiator).

text messaging
i've always been a fan of texting but in recent weeks my appreciation for the text message has been heightened. for example, the other night i asked Jason to text me when he got home because it was mildly late, we had been drinking all day, and i didn't really want him driving in the first place. he did. but i was on the phone with Dani when i got it, so i neglected to read it right away. clearly Jason grew impatient and wanted to make sure i would write him back so he sent a follow up text that simply said "respond". i don't know why that made me laugh so hard, but it did and now if people don't respond to my text messages in what i consider to be a timely manner i use Jason's "respond" tactic.

after going over all that, i guess my week/life isn't really all that bad. and i didn't even touch on the great "bodega" debate... but don't you worry your pretty little head. i will.

things i've realized since turning 25

this weekend was filled with eye opening revelations. let me indulge you:

i'm much more easily amused now that i'm 25.
i know, you didn't think it could get any easier to conjure a laugh out of me, but it indeed has become much, much easier. you don't have to do anything. i was walking to Cow's End on Saturday morning and realized i had a giant grin on my face for no apparent reason. i began to laugh hysterically due to this fact without any prompting, and Dave and Chels probably thought i was insane/still drunk/high or any combination thereof. they may have been right...

when i was 19, i was a rockstar.
though i will (proudly) say that at no point this weekend was i desperately hurting due to over abusing substances, i was tired as fuck. in fact, i still am. back in the day (sung: when i was young, i'm not a kid anymore but some days i sit and wish i was a kid again - i love that song...) i could drink, smoke, drink, smoke, drink, and God only knows what else with out any physical punishment. after TDS show tonight, i may need a few days of recuperation as a hermit.

i have the greatest fucking friends in the world.
don't be offended, it's not as if i was unaware that you are all supremely fantastic, but this weekend truly highlighted just how much i love/need/appreciate you for what you each respectively bring to the table. this whole weekend was flawless and i thank you for all of the effort you put into stringing it together. from my surprise dinner at Robata Bar, to shaking a tail feather at Nikki's, to breakfast at Jinky's, to being stoned out of my head, to celebrating Lindsay's last night at the Tavy, to thrift store shopping on Fairfax, to American Gladiators... it was too much fun to know what to do with.

what a lucky, lucky girl i am...